Diary of the Young and Married: Apologies

I’m usually the one guilty of this. I jump to conclusions and act like a complete brat then realize how silly I was being later. Last night, all day yesterday was perfect. We were being silly, sweet and playful. Night time came and I was showing my sexiest side, finally having a whole night together. I was ready to retreat to the bedroom and somehow, at some point he was angry…out of no where. I was so confused and embarrassed for being in my underwear during this whole situation. Everything made me feel uncomfortable and it made me cry because I still had absolutely no idea what had happened. 

After some tears and both laying in a bed of silent tension, he walked out for a glass of water and when he returned he was in tears as well. He started talking, he said he was so sorry, that he doesn’t know why he does what he does. He read to much into a comment I had made and thought that I had meant something I didn’t. He was just missing me and needing that extra attention and so he go angry, or frustrated. He was in tears because he had hurt my feelings and for nothing. He was disappointed in himself for causing a good night to go bad. He was so, so sorry and I felt for him. He kept repeating, “why do I do this? Why do I mess up only the best nights?” I didn’t feel that way so I tried to hold onto him and show him he was forgiven. Sometimes being as busy we are, the distance gets to us and we start to push at each other. We just needed something to wake us both up and, he still felt guilty but we made love and showed one another that it was behind us. 

I love this about us. That we’re so honest with one another and so great at communicating and fixing damaged moments. We’re both good at admitting to our faults and apologizing. I think that this is such a large part in how things work out as well as they do for us. It’s definitely one of our greatest attributes as a couple. A lot of couples lack this aspect and use denial and pride to get in the way but this…this is one of the things we are best at. I think it’s really what makes us so perfect. 

Of course, these are my own ideas and everyone has that thing that makes them better. I’m proud of us for this, though. I always will be. 

-A Wife.

Diary of the Young and Married: In the bedroom

I used to be so shy when it came to the sexual aspect of a relationship and since I’ve been married to him, I’m more willing to open up and talk about it. This is a topic I never cover, at least not completely but last night I thought to myself, it’s an important part of a marriage. 

I won’t even put a -read more- tab but (tmi) folks.

There is something so, so sweet about making love to your wedding song. Believe it or not, we never had before. Last night was perfect. Before Scotty I had never been with anyone else, but he had been with two other women before me. He used to say that it’s not the same. He was with those girls and didn’t love them, just gave them what they wanted but that it’s different with someone you love. The sex doesn’t feel the same, it’s special. I hold onto that because I hope everyone can experience it in that way. I’ve seen what no sex can do to a couple, friends come to me about it but I really can’t help them. I guess that’s what I will tell my children one day. How good it feels to know I waited for someone special. 

Afterward I laid on his chest and we locked fingers and fell asleep. *sigh*

-A Wife.

Diary of the Young and Married

I don’t know why and I cannot pinpoint that moment but I am at the happiest place I’ve ever been at in my life. Husband and I have never been in a bad place but still yet we are in the happiest place right now. I think it has a lot to do with my self-realization, new found confidence, and decision to wait longer for children. He is currently awaiting a call from the Children’s Division where he interviewed last week. If they hire him he will finally have his dream career, the one he graduated college for. I am so very proud of him for even reaching this point and I have so much faith in him! Having faith in your Husband is one of the most important things especially as a young married couple, we have to prepare ourselves for a future together. We are growing together and our individual lives were not started before our marriage, but instead we are experiencing them together. This can be difficult but so far has been a blessing. We’ve been doing so much talking about our future and that’s important but for now I am exactly where I want to be, exactly where we should be. 

In so many marriages, people somehow forget or lose the feelings they felt for their partner in the beginning, changing how they treat one another and creating a hole. Husband and I remind each other everyday of old memories we share, we compliment one another daily and do ARK (Acts of Random Kindness) to liven things up and keep us on our toes. We never want to seem bored or unsure. 

What we do, you can too:

  • Leave sticky notes for your Husband (Good mornings, While your outs, or just I love you’s).
  • Write letters, even when you see each other every day.
  • Cook with each other or for each other.
  • Have nights with no noise other than the sounds of the two of you talking without any distractions.
  • Flirt.
  • Go on walks.
  • Compliment your partner AT LEAST once a day.
  • Be silly together, not everything has to be so serious.
  • Laugh at them, even if what they said really isn’t that funny.
  • Car rides.
  • Go out, dressed nice.

Of course, there are endless acts to express your love, but these are just some things that we love to do that might help. What would a marriage be if you lost all of the characteristics of what your love started out as. 

-A Wife.