Diary of the Young and Married
I often get asked questions on my decision to marry young and I try to rack up an answer in my brain other than the fact that we were in love and ready. I mean isn’t it the same reason I would marry someone if I was 50? Because we’re in love? And then today I found this blog and the story of this young couple and I thought, duh, I don’t have to justify my choice to get married just because I did it at a younger age.
I’ve never gone to my mother about marital issues because marriage didn’t work for her. She was pregnant with me at seventeen so she married my father. They were in love but they weren’t ready for such big steps when they hardly knew what it meant to be grown ups. At the University if I tell someone I married at eighteen they think it must be either because we had a child together or because he’s in the army. Neither of these are the case. We were in love and so we married, we still do not have children and we own a beautiful home and work our butts off to not have our bank account go into the negatives. On top of that, I’m still going to school and you know what? We love our life together. We have a strong marriage, on that my own mother tells me she envies, one that I can be proud of. I can honestly say that I have no regrets and I still love him more every day, we flirt like we did when we were dating and we talk to each other about everything.
I also found this article and thought how crazy is it that so many people have these negatives ideas about young marriage? It must be only because they focus more on the negative stories than the positive ones. Why does this society want us to believe such horrible things about such a beautiful lifestyle?
Don’t you see? Happiness is what it’s all about and for some reason we so often look over the possibilities and the facts that happiness in marriage exists!
When Scott and I met I was 16 and he was almost 20. We started dating and at age eighteen I married him, it was our two year anniversary. I married at eighteen and here, at age 21, I am still as happy if not more so than I was when we married. I feel so confident in my marriage and not because of the naive belief that “we’re in love so everything will work itself out” but because we work hard at our marriage. We recognize that it isn’t always rainbows and butterflies but that there are rough roads ahead and obstacles we’ve already hurdled with more to come. We work things out through discussing them, facing troubles head on and we admit that marriage is hard work, but it’s worth it. Every single minute we spend together is time to cherish. We don’t stay angry for days on end, we don’t sweat the small petty stuff and we certainly don’t let the little things get in the way of the much more important things. We’ve seen many times together (one of the joys of marrying young). We’ve experienced school, life-altering decisions, family quarrels, weakest points and strongest points, changes of the heart and changes of the mind. We still have so much more to experience together, I could never imagine throwing something so beautiful away. I’m driven and so is my husband, thus our marriage is something we focus on first.
I don’t have to justify why I married my husband and I certainly don’t have to justify why I did so at eighteen. I love him and he loves me. There is nothing more to it.
I am so, so blessed and so are all of you.
- A Wife.