My mother-in-law and soon to be sister-in-law were asking me how doc is going to go about easing my pain with endo. I told them he’s going to wait and see how my ultrasound goes and then put me on birth control. The thing is I haven’t yet been diagnosed. He and I both believe that this is what we’re dealing with but I have to have that stupid surgery just to find out. So, I told my MIL and SIL that I’d like to not have the surgery and just try and treat it as Endo. This way, hopefully, I can find away to stop the pain or at least weaken it and not worry about the rest of it until Husband and I are more financially stable and thinking of having children.
If you followed my blog before I decided to wait, you’d think this all sounded crazy because of how bad we wanted children. Over a year of trying with no success before we decided we weren’t ready to bring babies into the world just yet. I told my MIL that after seeing the way some of my friends and my BIL have been making decisions and “handling” issues, it’s all shown me that I want better for my children. I understand that even now Husband and I would do better than most of the people we know, it still isn’t enough. Why make it any more difficult on ourselves. We may even wait until I am completely finished with school. But you have all heard this from me before so back to my conversation…
MIL was surprisingly proud of this decision to wait…(as if we have much of a choice anyway)…she told me there is no need to rush. You see, weeks ago she would have been hurt by what I was saying but after seeing her youngest son make such rash and irresponsible decisions I think she has learned as well. My mother is already 100% okay with no grandchildren for a while. She never really saw herself as a grandma and used to be bothered by the fact that we once wanted children right away. My father is on the fence, is ready when it happens but is leaving all that to chance. So it’s always been his parents that I’ve had a hard time getting through to, because they’ve always been the “what comes next” sort of people. I think they wanted us to be an example for their other son but since he’s about to have his second child I think it’s a bit late to try and mark out a path for him. This is how it’s supposed to be.
“Everything happens for a reason.” This is what my MIL said and she’s right. God has a plan for us and every time I am forced into one of these conversations my decisions to wait, and just decisions about life in general, are so much more appreciated. I know what I’m doing, even if I doubted myself in the beginning.